The Kaiser kicks ass!

FRANZ BECKENBAUER, perhaps irked by being dissed by Diego Maradona the other night, has laid into England, labelling them a “kick and rush” team and claiming they had gone “backwards” under Fabio Capello.

Quite extraordinary! And possibly quite true, if we’re being brutally honest with ourselves. Aside from the two stunning victories over Croatia, it’s difficult to remember an England performance over the past two years that really set the pulse racing - we’ve certainly not seen it in the run up to South Africa and we sure as hell didn’t see it against the States on Saturday.

Germany, by contrast, were brilliant on Sunday, swatting away Australia with ease, with four of their five strikers scoring; forget what you think you know about Germany, they’re exciting to watch, a vibrant, young team capable of going all the way, free scoring, ego-less and used to playing with each other.

In their last three World Cup openers they’ve scored 8 (against Saudi Arabia en route to the final eight years ago), 4 (against Costa Rica in the scintillating curtain-raiser in Munich four years ago) and now four against the Aussies, while racking up the goals in the 2005 Confederations Cup, Euro 2008 and their near-perfect 2010 qualification campaign.

On the eve of the tournament, Germany manager Joachim Loew called on his players to “humiliate” opponents - that they have done and will hope to do again, against Serbia on Friday and Ghana next Wednesday, and if England aren’t careful, against them a week on Sunday.

Back to the present, and today sees the turn of New Zealand, Slovakia, Côte d'Ivoire, Portugal, North Korea and the big ones, everyone’s favourite, favourite team, Brasil, take the stage.

Here’s a little reminder of what the Samba Boys can offer:

France ’98, those were the days! (Pre 9/11 of course, if you tried that this summer you’d likely be renditioned...)

♫ Ô Ariá! Raiô!
Obá! Obá! Obá!
Ô, Ô Ô Ô Ô Ariá! Raiô!
Obá! Obá! Obá!...

♬ Mas Que Nada
Sai da minha frente
Que eu quero passar
Pois o samba está animado
E o que eu quero é sambar...

♫ Esse samba
Que é misto de maracatu
Samba de Preto Velho
Samba de Preto Tutú..

♬ Mas Que Nada
Um samba como este tão legal
Você não vai querer
Que eu chegue no final...

♫ Ô, Ô Ô Ô Ô Ariá! Raiô!
Obá! Obá! Obá!...(2x)

♬ Ô Mas Que Nada!
Ô Mas Que Nada!
Ô Mas Que Nada!
Ô Mas Que Nada!
Esse samba é gostoso
Essa dança é danada
Ô Mas Que Nada!
Ô Mas Que Nada!
Esse samba é gostoso
Essa dança é danada...

♫ Esse samba
Que é misto de maracatu
Samba de Preto Velho
Samba de Preto Tutú..

♬ Mas Que Nada
Um samba como este tão legal
Você não vai querer
Que eu chegue no final...

♫ Ô, Ô Ô Ô Ô Ariá! Raiô!
Obá! Obá! Obá!...(2x)

♬ Obá! Obá! Obá!
Obá! Obá! Obá!
Obá! Obá! Obá!...

♫ Mas Que Nada!