Who ate all the Mars bars?

FANTASTIC article from Martin Kelner in this morning’s Guardian on the preponderance of preposterous pre-World Cup adverts on our screens at the moment, from Graham Taylor’s hawking of flat screen TVs - and quite why anyone, anyone would be guided by turnip Taylor on their choice of TV set is anyone’s guess (whatever next, Steve McClaren selling life insurance? In a mockney Dutch/Northern accent?!) - to El Tel’s crooning and the new Nike advert, which premiered during the Champions League Final.

But alas, no mention of the best of them all, one of the few ads which upon viewing you can think “I quite fancy one of those, I’ll just pop down t’shop and but one”; the most nostalgic ad on our screens, Barnsey’s reprise of World in Motion, complete with cassette tape and old-skool tape recorder (one for younger readers to Wiki I’m sure) - and one in which the honorary Scouser seems to have put on a few pounds, and I’m not just talking about his bank balance.

So what more can we expect to see over the coming days till kick off? Another Pizza Hut advert in which Gareth Southgate, Stuart Pearce and Chris Waddle cash in on their inability to score from 12 yards; another Little Britain meets Fabio Capello Nationwide ad, maybe with the tubby Weight Watchers mentalist barking orders at the boys or the prime minister’s gay assistant Sebastian protecting the gaffer from those nasty hacks; or perhaps John Terry and Wayne Bridge... nope, that’s tooooooo improbable!

Well, anyway, for old times’ sake, here’s the original Anfield rap; so kick back, cast your minds back and reminisce about the last time England genuinely came close to winning the World Cup:

The memoriez, the memoriez...