Beauty and the beeyatch

    

A modern day tale of a beautiful, intelligent, talented young lady who finds herself thrust into a human zoo alongside the dregs of society - Jade Goody and her family, topless model Danielle Lloyd and some minger called Jo.

The plotline? Our beauty (Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty) is mercilessly bullied and racially abused by said low-life, driven to the brink of despair by the beeyatch (Jade), her mother (Jackiey), boyfriend (Jack "Boot") and the ugly sisters (Danielle and former "singer" Jo O'Meara).

    

And the moral of the story is ... good shall, hopefully, overcome evil. So get voting! Evict the scum and elect the star!!!

Chavs: know your limits.