Sports farce-onality of the year

    

So now we know. It's not just the monarchy which is hereditary, it's the BBC Sports Personality of the Year award as well.

Zara Phillips, world and European champion in the "sport" of three day eventing, has won the once prestigious prize. Congratulations! ;)

As for the horse - without whom she wouldn't have won anything - well, he's probably being eaten by Prince Phillip as we speak.

I now pronounce the real winners, those who play real sports and have real personalities:

    

• Team of the year - Australia - The Australian cricket team have been nothing short of sensational this calendar year. In Tests they've won 8 out of 8 - and are odds on to make it 10 out of 10 with victory in the next two Ashes Tests - and in one-dayers they won the Champions Trophy.

• Sports Personality of the year - Joe Calzaghe - Undefeated WBO and IBF Super Middle Weight champion of the World.

• Coach of the year - Marcello Lippi - Took Italy to World Cup glory, playing exciting, attacking football allied to a flawless defence.

And finally ...

• Overseas personality of the year - Zinedine Zidane - The great Zizou, one of the greatest footballers in history, who made his mark on more than Materazzi's chest this year.



First, the heady days of Paris in the summer of '98:



And lastly the headbutt on Marco the muppet:

    

Allez les Bleus! Allez Zizou!!!