NFL - National Finaglers League

    

So there was I, slumped in fornt of the television at two in the morning, hoping to catch the decisive match of the World Series - little did I know that it had already been done and dusted - when instead on came five's live coverage of American Football.

Having not seen a game since the Superbowl I decided to sit up and watch. Now we all know about the incessant ad breaks and stoppages of play which make a sixty minute game last FOUR HOURS, but I did learn something new last night: That the rulebook allows teams to cheat.

You're allowed to call a time-out at any point, provided the ball is dead, even if it is just miliseconds before the snap. And that's exactly what Carolina Panthers coach John Fox did, in an effort to "ice the kicker".

He needn't have bothered, the Panthers defence blocking kicker Mike Vanderjagt's effort ... Fox got his just desserts, however, only seconds later when Vanderjagt rifled in the re-taken field goal! Carolina didn't score another point, going on to lose the match 35-14 to the Dallas Cowboys, Romo done!

Looking back, just imagine if the rules of football and cricket had permitted such gamesmanship: Greece manager Otto Rehhagel calling a time-out while David Beckham was running up to score the injury-time leveller at Old Trafford that took England to the 2002 World Cup ...

    

... or Australia coach John Buchanan making the time-out signal just as Steve Harmison bounded in to dismiss Michael Kasprowicz, win the Edgbaston Test by a whisker and set England on course for the Ashes.

It ain't fair, it isn't sporting, and, as Geoffrey might say, eet's just not crickeet!